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[personal profile] nationalboner
Let me preface this by stating that this is in no way a flounce; merely an explanation of why I haven't been around _AI much lately, why I'll be around even less from now on, and where else you can find me if you want to.

So, basically, since the end of May, _AI has been my home. There, I found people who made me feel accepted, loved, and part of something for the first time in years. I met so many amazing people who I love, and who've even helped me to accept certain things about myself. Without _AI, I never would have been spurred on into getting therapy. Not only did I feel loved and accepted, but I felt like I could really participate and engage with people, like I was part of a real community, with real relationships. It made me feel good about myself. For all of those things, I will always have a special place in my heart for _AI.

That said, I have completely fallen out of love with the comm. It used to be the place I went to hang with my friends, talk, and have fun. Even when the first few cycles of drama erupted, I was able to hide myself in OT/insom posts and avoid that stuff while still having a great time. However, over the past couple of months, I haven't been enjoying it as much. I've been having more and more trouble ignoring the drama, a lot of my friends have stopped being active at _AI, and my feelings of love for the comm have been completely drained. The magic is gone.

And with every passing day, I feel less and less connected to _AI. The only reason I only go there anymore is to talk to people that I rarely see elsewhere. And aside from them, I feel like I'm talking at people rather than really interacting with them. I've also begun to realize that the most recent drama is really starting to affect me. I feel like it's making me hurt, bitter and distrustful. I really don't want to become one of those people I have such disdain for, so I think it's time to take a step back before I do. I have so much love for many of you, and I still may drop by the occasional OT/insom/whatever post, but I probably won't make a point of doing so on a daily basis.

I'm on twitter pretty much the entire time that I'm online. My twitter:

I'm also going to try and be on AIM more, too. My AIM: the Mighty Almar

And I think I'll try and post LJ entries more often, too...

I've left this entry unlocked because I'm not sure if I've friended all of my _AI friends on LJ... and just in case anyone's wondering what's going on with me, they can just come here and check.

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January 2011

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